Dispelling the Myth That Children Need Structure

To hold the fragile, innocent bundle of a newborn in our arms, knowing that we are responsible to nurture and raise them — hopefully, to be well-balanced, happy individuals, to say the least, is daunting. Parenting is tough.

Sleep, feeding, and potty training experts throw theory after theory at us — convincing us that if we don’t do things ‘just right’ our children will be unhappy, selfish, and unsuccessful.

I thought I’d follow them all. I wanted to be a good mother. I wanted my children to grow up to be happy and successful.

Many friends scheduled their daily activities around children’s nap time or feeding schedules. Others insisted that children need to learn how to comfort themselves or that they needed structure.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let my baby cry — to sleep, with hunger, or for any other reason. And I didn’t enjoy being tied down by a schedule.

Was I putting my wants over the wellbeing of my child? Perhaps. I really had no idea. But I justified my spontaneous, unstructured approach to parenting whenever anyone felt it necessary to ‘school’ me on the detrimental choices I was making.

I quickly realized and explained to those who thought they knew better, that I didn’t know any ten-year-olds that still breastfed, wore…