Great thought piece. I think wife/husband is antiquated but it's never bothered me enough to think too long on it. This made me think! That said, I feel like "partner" focuses so much on the transactional elements of the day-to-day that it doesn't convey the fullness of the relationship. I've been leaning toward significant other or spouse recently when asking folks about their situations because there are so many possible variations now and I don't want to assume.